On the road
Mom had a horrible horrible night last night. She was up until 430a vomiting. Her anti-nausea medications unfortunately were not helping her at all. Poor mom :( It's so difficult seeing her in this condition. The only thing that gets me through it besides God, is her positive attitude. She still manages to talk positive and smile through it all.
This morning Oche finished packing up the last minute things, cleaned out the fridge, etc. Mom had several visitors stop by. Everyone is so very sad she is leaving. They all prayed for mom that God would keep his hand upon her and keep us safe. She is blessed to have these precious friends. They were crying and so upset to see her leave, but they know this is best for mom.
(I started yesterday's post while on the road and never got to finish it...now I will post about today.)
We arrived in Vancouver at 230am. Mom was able to rest well in the car and we didn't end up having to stop anywhere. Oche had asked if we should stop and spend the night somewhere, but we felt like we needed to keep going if at all possible and just get there. During the car ride mom was "talking" the whole time. She would say things like "I'm going to take my last breath soon." We would tell her no she wasn't and that she would be fine. Let me back up to a couple of nights ago. Mom had told us that she had this "fuzzy feeling," and that she only had a couple of days left here on earth. Also that night, while Oche and I were picking up the house we heard mom talking to someone, so we went in to check on her. She was having a conversation with my mamaw. Mom had her arms stretched in the air and saying things like "aw mamaw." That was a beautiful thing to see. We asked mom the next morning if she remembered that and she sure enough did. She was so happy about it too. She said they couldn't touch, but that they were able to "chit-chat."
So, back to the story. We made it to Vancouver and mom's hospital bed was already set up and ready to go so we put her in bed. She was happy to be out of the car and in bed I think! She was very relaxed. We all slept in the same room together, Oche, Grandma, Mom and I. Little did we know this would be the last slumber party we would all have together. Mom woke up around 830 or so and asked for a drink of water so I gave her a sip. She was kindof confused and thought she was in a nursing home, but I explained to her where we were and she went back to sleep. Around 930a I got up around our usual wake up time and noticed mom was still asleep. I turned down her pain medicine just a tad to see if that would maybe wake her up and it didn't....
Around 11:30a she was still sleeping. I knew something wasn't quite right. I had fully expected her to be awake and wanting to get up in the wheelchair and hang out with everyone. All of the family came in to visit with her. You could tell she was so happy to see everyone, even though she wasn't able to voice that very well. She saw Rachel, Grandma, Emmy, Nap, CJ, Jayden, Abe, Kirsten, AJ, and Julia. After a couple of hours of visiting with everyone, her breathing became labored and her body started to involuntarily twitch. We knew that the time was getting close, but we didn't know it would happen so fast. She began to get the "rattle" and within 10 minutes or less of that she left this world and went on to be with her Heavenly Father.
That 10 minutes or less will forever be one of the most precious moment's of my life. I will never ever forget. We were all joined together praying for mom and singing hymns, which mom was singing along too. We could tell she was very much enjoying that. Oche was telling her we would all be fine and that it was okay to leave us now. The last few breaths she took were absolutely amazing. She got this look on her face like she was surprised to see someone, someone was there waiting for her and then she shed one tiny tear and had the most peaceful smile on her face. I can't even accurately describe how beautiful this was. There are no words. Mom had such a peace over here during those last couple of breaths. You just knew that she had no more pain and was not suffering any more. She took her last breath at 3:21pm on November 10th.
This has been the hardest day of my life. I have such mixed emotions. We miss mom so terribly, but know that she is in a much better place with no more pain or suffering. It's so sad that she isn't here with us any longer, but happy to know she is with our Heavenly Father. It's hard to not think that in the morning she will not be there with a smile on her face saying "good morning shayna." It's not going to be easy to not pick up the phone and want to talk to her and hear her sweet voice. She always answered the phone, "Hi Shayna, it's so good to hear your voice!" I'm sad because she is loved by so many who are missing her terribly. Through all the sadness I can't express how thankful that I know she is now in peace. I'm thankful for God's comfort. Without Him, I don't know what I would do. Thankful for friends who uplift and encourage. Thankful for the simple gestures like receiving a text saying "I have no other words of my own, but some from The Lord-Psalm 116:15." Which states, "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." That verse meant so much to me. So powerful. So True. So awesome is our God. Mom is precious and even more precious in her death to our Almighty God. He is good. All the time. No matter what.
Thank you everyone for your prayers, support, love, generosity. I mean that from the bottom of my broken heart right now. Thank you for all of the calls, texts, facebook messages, posts and thoughts. It means so much. God is faithful and I cling to Him more now than ever. Thankful for the peace and comfort that can only come from knowing Him. Thank you for sharing in this beautiful journey with my mom. She will live on..her legacy of loving The Lord with all her heart will not fade, we will keep her radiant light shining. Always.
I love you so, so much mom. You are so beautiful inside and out, but I didn't know you would be even more beautiful in your death. We can not wait to see you in Heaven again some day. You are loved more than you will ever know by your children, grandchildren, family, and friends. Thank you for your unending love and always encouraging us. You will be missed greatly.
(originally wrote November 10 2013)
Mom had a horrible horrible night last night. She was up until 430a vomiting. Her anti-nausea medications unfortunately were not helping her at all. Poor mom :( It's so difficult seeing her in this condition. The only thing that gets me through it besides God, is her positive attitude. She still manages to talk positive and smile through it all.
This morning Oche finished packing up the last minute things, cleaned out the fridge, etc. Mom had several visitors stop by. Everyone is so very sad she is leaving. They all prayed for mom that God would keep his hand upon her and keep us safe. She is blessed to have these precious friends. They were crying and so upset to see her leave, but they know this is best for mom.
(I started yesterday's post while on the road and never got to finish it...now I will post about today.)
We arrived in Vancouver at 230am. Mom was able to rest well in the car and we didn't end up having to stop anywhere. Oche had asked if we should stop and spend the night somewhere, but we felt like we needed to keep going if at all possible and just get there. During the car ride mom was "talking" the whole time. She would say things like "I'm going to take my last breath soon." We would tell her no she wasn't and that she would be fine. Let me back up to a couple of nights ago. Mom had told us that she had this "fuzzy feeling," and that she only had a couple of days left here on earth. Also that night, while Oche and I were picking up the house we heard mom talking to someone, so we went in to check on her. She was having a conversation with my mamaw. Mom had her arms stretched in the air and saying things like "aw mamaw." That was a beautiful thing to see. We asked mom the next morning if she remembered that and she sure enough did. She was so happy about it too. She said they couldn't touch, but that they were able to "chit-chat."
So, back to the story. We made it to Vancouver and mom's hospital bed was already set up and ready to go so we put her in bed. She was happy to be out of the car and in bed I think! She was very relaxed. We all slept in the same room together, Oche, Grandma, Mom and I. Little did we know this would be the last slumber party we would all have together. Mom woke up around 830 or so and asked for a drink of water so I gave her a sip. She was kindof confused and thought she was in a nursing home, but I explained to her where we were and she went back to sleep. Around 930a I got up around our usual wake up time and noticed mom was still asleep. I turned down her pain medicine just a tad to see if that would maybe wake her up and it didn't....
Around 11:30a she was still sleeping. I knew something wasn't quite right. I had fully expected her to be awake and wanting to get up in the wheelchair and hang out with everyone. All of the family came in to visit with her. You could tell she was so happy to see everyone, even though she wasn't able to voice that very well. She saw Rachel, Grandma, Emmy, Nap, CJ, Jayden, Abe, Kirsten, AJ, and Julia. After a couple of hours of visiting with everyone, her breathing became labored and her body started to involuntarily twitch. We knew that the time was getting close, but we didn't know it would happen so fast. She began to get the "rattle" and within 10 minutes or less of that she left this world and went on to be with her Heavenly Father.
That 10 minutes or less will forever be one of the most precious moment's of my life. I will never ever forget. We were all joined together praying for mom and singing hymns, which mom was singing along too. We could tell she was very much enjoying that. Oche was telling her we would all be fine and that it was okay to leave us now. The last few breaths she took were absolutely amazing. She got this look on her face like she was surprised to see someone, someone was there waiting for her and then she shed one tiny tear and had the most peaceful smile on her face. I can't even accurately describe how beautiful this was. There are no words. Mom had such a peace over here during those last couple of breaths. You just knew that she had no more pain and was not suffering any more. She took her last breath at 3:21pm on November 10th.
This has been the hardest day of my life. I have such mixed emotions. We miss mom so terribly, but know that she is in a much better place with no more pain or suffering. It's so sad that she isn't here with us any longer, but happy to know she is with our Heavenly Father. It's hard to not think that in the morning she will not be there with a smile on her face saying "good morning shayna." It's not going to be easy to not pick up the phone and want to talk to her and hear her sweet voice. She always answered the phone, "Hi Shayna, it's so good to hear your voice!" I'm sad because she is loved by so many who are missing her terribly. Through all the sadness I can't express how thankful that I know she is now in peace. I'm thankful for God's comfort. Without Him, I don't know what I would do. Thankful for friends who uplift and encourage. Thankful for the simple gestures like receiving a text saying "I have no other words of my own, but some from The Lord-Psalm 116:15." Which states, "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." That verse meant so much to me. So powerful. So True. So awesome is our God. Mom is precious and even more precious in her death to our Almighty God. He is good. All the time. No matter what.
Thank you everyone for your prayers, support, love, generosity. I mean that from the bottom of my broken heart right now. Thank you for all of the calls, texts, facebook messages, posts and thoughts. It means so much. God is faithful and I cling to Him more now than ever. Thankful for the peace and comfort that can only come from knowing Him. Thank you for sharing in this beautiful journey with my mom. She will live on..her legacy of loving The Lord with all her heart will not fade, we will keep her radiant light shining. Always.
I love you so, so much mom. You are so beautiful inside and out, but I didn't know you would be even more beautiful in your death. We can not wait to see you in Heaven again some day. You are loved more than you will ever know by your children, grandchildren, family, and friends. Thank you for your unending love and always encouraging us. You will be missed greatly.
(originally wrote November 10 2013)
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