Mother's Day

During my run yesterday, I ran through a beautiful familiar location. Ironically,  I was there this time of the year not too long ago.  The last time I was there I never dreamt that would be my last time seeing my Mom there. She was camping with my sister and grandma. I went out to visit them after church on a Sunday afternoon for Mother's Day. Oh how I cherish the many wonderful memories from that day. 

Although it makes me sad she is no longer with me here on earth, I know she is with me always. As my thoughts drifted from reminiscing on those sweet memories,  I couldn't help become overwhelmed with thanks. Thankful for a very important lady in my life. A lady who took me under her wing when my mother was unable to care for me. Those years when I was with my mom was painful for Pat. Those years I was with Pat was painful for my Mom. However,  even through the pain, my mom was so extremely thankful to Pat and her family. And I to this day.

Life is not always a pretty painting on the wall. It can be ugly, messy, screwed up, and broken. Life can not always be understood or make sense.  What does make sense, is how much God loves each and every one of us and takes that mess,  turning into a beautiful masterpiece. It made sense that God knew I would need a Pat in my life. Her protection, safety, and love is what I needed and that's what she provided. The day before my mother passed, one of our very last conversations was about how immensely thankful she was for her. She always told me throughout the years that she prayed for Pat and her family everyday, but I never understood why until that moment. 

Another really cool part of my life's painting is that my mom ALWAYS prayed for my sister and I to have the best God loving husband that would treat us like princesses. Well, that prayer was answered and my mom was so ecstatic when she found out who my mother in law would be. So today you see, I have a LOT to be thankful for. Some people only have one mother in their lifetime, but I am abundantly blessed to have 2 incredible ladies  in my life who I am proud to say, "Happy Mother's Day," to and who I appreciate so much. Not only today, but everyday, I want to be thankful always for these women who love me very much. 

Not only today but everyday thank you Pat and Carol Ann for being a huge part of my life and for setting a great example of what a Mother's love should look like.  I never want to take anything God has given me for granted and you two are definitely some of the biggest blessing in my life. Thank you for everything you've done for me and most importantly showing that love that only a mother can share. I am wishing you a very Happy Mother's Day filled with all the love and happiness that you deserve.  So thankful my steps led me to a very special spot yesterday.  Happy Mother's Day in Heaven Mom. Thank you for your love and prayers all those years that have led me to where I am today.

I also want to wish all of you beautiful Mother's a wonderful day full of love. Know that you are loved beyond measure and are extremely blessed to have someone call you Mother! Being a mom is one of God's greatest blessings to us. Cherish every moment because you never know when it could be your last. Xoxo

Until next time,

A thankful mommy!

Indy Mini

God really does have a sense of humor. It is funny to me how things work out. I heard about the Indy Mini through some friends and really wanted to do it. However,  I was crippled by fear that I couldn't do it. I told myself I wasn't good enough. So I did not sign up. I thought about it ALL the time. I would go to the website and want to register so bad, but I just couldn't do it. Less than a week before the race I asked Tyler if he wanted to do to the 5k. He definitely wanted to so I was getting ready to sign us up when I received a facebook message from my friend Brittany F.  on Monday April 27th. She asked me if I would want her Mini ticket.  I didn't respond right away to her  because in my head I was saying heck no, I'm not ready and I can't do it. I texted my husband and he said that I could do it and said I was absolutely going to take her ticket and do it!  So I messaged her back and said Yes!   I wanted to be on a T.V. show at that moment and proclaim to everyone, "I SAID YES TO THE MINI."  I couldn't believe I actually told her yes. I was telling myself I wasn't ready. I hadn't done a long run in over a month. I was freaking scared to death! What was I getting myself into!  After I settled down I knew right away I had to do this run for Brittany and her Memaw. During the time that she would be training for this, her Memaw was very sick so she spent every moment with her. Her Memaw passed away and now Brittany has those last few special memories of spending time with her. I know how precious that time is and am so thankful she was able to have that with her.

Photo taken from Google Image

The Expo was Friday. We decided to take the girls up with us during the day just to enjoy some time up there with them and my father in law would pick them up at our hotel later that day. We stayed in Indy at the JW Marriott, which was right next to the start line! The expo was so much fun. We met up with our friends Jasen and Jennifer during the day and Cory and Jelayne in the evening. Tyler and I were on our feet walking the Expo and Indy from 130pm to 8pm. Hah,  we were too excited to sit still and relax! We paid for it a little the next day and told each other we will rest much more the day before our races! Our hotel room was so nice and our bed was extra comfortable!  We got a really good night of sleep and were well rested when we woke up! We definitely woke up ready to race. We were ready to get out there and run. It was so cool to look out our window and see all of the volunteers getting in to place so early in the morning. The sunrise was beautiful and we knew it was going to be a great day!

 My wave was set to line up at 8am. Start time was 815. Tyler's 5k started at 7:15. I wanted to head over to the finish line as soon as he crossed the start line to see him finish. Heather, Brittany and I got over there and waited for him to finish. During this time I had to go to the bathroom really bad.  I was so scared I would miss Ty cross! As soon as I got back I saw him cross the finish line at 26 07! I was sooo happy for him! He did such a good job. Very proud wife right here! It's amazing to see his transformation in such a short time frame. After that,  Britt and I had just enough time to head back over to the line up. As soon as I found where I was supposed to line up, I looked ahead and spotted Jelayne! I couldn't believe it. I thought there was no way I could find her in that crowd. Brittany had to make a pit stop on our way to our wave, so unfortunately we could not find each other before it was time for us to take off. I sent her a text and told her I would see her when she crossed that finish line! 

Photo Credit: Heather

It was almost 8:15 on the countdown and I had to pee so incredibly bad at that moment (just keeping it real). I was literally scared that I would pee my pants as soon as we started running. My nerves were just a mess! As soon as the count down went off and the air horn blew everyone started moving forward. It was the coolest moment to me! There were so so so many people. Participants were trying to pass and I would hear comments like "this is so hard to get through." It really was. You were shoulder to shoulder with people. Once we got up around to the Zoo it started to thin out as people went on. I was so happy to realize I did not pee my pants!

I have to pee so bad face. "Can I pop a squat?" Tyler: NO

All I could concentrate on for the first 5k was the sound of all these runners. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Lion King when there was a stampede during the scene where Simba was being rescued by his dad.  That sound just amazed me. I was shocked to see the very first band on the course playing not even a mile after the start line.  These bands were all over the place and I loved the energy they provided! All of the songs were geared towards motivating us runners.  I had no idea that was part of the course! It made the running more fun and interesting. There were a few Christian bands as well which I loved. Running through the neighborhoods there would be people sitting on their porches staring at us runners. I always wondered what they were thinking. Some had pots and pans and were banging on them with wooden spoons. I thought that was super cute!

Photo taken from Google Image

All throughout  the race I watched all of these people around me running. They all amazed me. Each and every person I saw and was running by. Sometimes I would put my hand on an elderly persons shoulder and let them know how amazing they were and how good they were doing and to keep it up and to look as good as they did then at the finish line. It felt good to see the smiles on their faces!  Sometimes when I saw one struggling I would say a prayer for them. Sometimes I would just start crying at watching people with disabilities running and putting there heart out there on that road. Just seeing all the runners of all different shapes, sizes, and abilities was so emotional for me. I knew for sure if they could do this I could too. I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes the whole entire race. You are running next to some people who have only 1 leg, are being pushed in a wheelchair, are paralyzed on one side of their body, are elderly, are young, struggling, but are all passionate and running for a certain reason. I was just in awe at everyone's struggle and determination. 

I literally could not! *Google image*

I was super impressed with how many drink stations and port a potties there were along the way. Yes, I did have to stop and use the bathroom at mile 6 just in cause you were wondering! It was funny to me to see all of the people who had to go as well run in and out so fast.  It was a lightning fast potty break! I stopped to drink water at every station. I am not coordinated enough yet to drink and run at the same time so I had to stop every time and walk.  I'm pretty sure there were either water or gatorade at every mile. It seemed that way to me anyways. I wasn't a fan of the gatorade. Every single time I got the lime flavor and it made me nauseous. I told myself I wouldn't get it again and just keep going until the next water stop, but I ended up stopping every time still. I guess I just didn't want to get dehydrated! At mile 10 they had cliff shots for us and I took one little taste and wanted to vomit.  I couldn't handle the taste or consistency of that stuff. Next time I definitely want to have my own water, gatorade, etc with me.

Google Image

The spectators were so awesome. They didn't care who you were, they wanted you to do good and keep going. I loved the signs they had. Some of my favorites were, "WORST PARADE EVER! boy was that true! Haha! and "I don't know you, but I am so proud of you."  "I trained for months to stand here and hold this sign for you." These people genuinely cared about every runner.  Every single volunteer blew my mind! They were all so kind with their smiles, encouraging words that kept us going and most definitely kept us very well hydrated. There is proof in this picture right here that Jelayne captured! These cups were EVERYWHERE! At times it was very slick and you had to be very careful not to slip.

Google Image

Google Image

Besides running with thousands of amazing people, my favorite part about the course was the entertainment along the way, getting to the speedway, and then the final stretch of the race. Entering the speedway was sort of nerve racking because the track was ginormous and I felt so small. I felt claustrophobic and like we were going to be running on the track for hours. I was so happy when I saw that we were coming around the final stretch! I was anxious to get back on the road and finish the last few miles. Even though I felt that way on the track, I was still amazed by it and loved every second of it. The final mile was incredible. I loved looking ahead knowing I was almost finished. Such an amazing feeling knowing you are almost done!

Mile 7. Only time I got my phone out to snap this picture.

 Miles 1-9 were great for me! Mile 10 and 12 proved to be a little tough. When I would stop for a drink break it was hard to get back at my pace. Miles 11 and 13 I had to push myself to get back to my desired pace. Mind over matter! When I saw that finish line it was such a relief! I actually had made it that far and felt pretty good! My goal for this race was to have fun and not over do it and to complete it in 2 hours and 30 minutes. I stuck to my plan very well. I crossed the finish line at 2 hours 20 minutes and 29 seconds! The feeling of crossing that finish line was so overwhelming. So many emotions, some tears, and not any words to describe the feeling! I felt so good I literally wanted to keep running!

Offical time!

My GPS

Jelayne sent this to me. Yep 100% me!!!!

Throughout the race I thought about my mom a lot. She had neuropathy in her feet as a side effect from her chemotherapy. That means her feet felt like pins and needles every step she took and like she was walking on fire. I saw her cry at times in private about it. In public she always had a smile on her face despite the horrible pain she was in and never complained. She was determined every single day to get out and walk for hours. She loved taking her grand kids to the park every chance she could get. The last time she stayed with us a few months before she passed, she asked if we could all go on a walk to the park. Of course we did and she smiled the whole entire time. We sang, laughed, listened to birds, examined bugs, admired beautiful trees. She wanted to defeat the huge hill at the Jimmy Nash Park. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea, but she said she wanted to. So we did and got to the top of that hill. I was seriously blown away by her strength at that moment. Her determination lives in me to this day. During my runs my feet may hurt and go numb, I may get some cramps, and my back may be killing me, but I try to remember to smile through it because I know that's exactly what my mom did for over 7 years. During the race I knew there would be some pain, but thinking about what she went through got me through my very minimal pains!

Google Maps {Jimmy Nash Park}

This race made me realize even more that anything is possible with God's help! Fear may cripple us for a moment, but if we can find that strength to push through and make it to the other side, that feeling that you will have is indescribable. With His help we literally can accomplish anything. In every day life, parenting, friendships, family,  trials, hardships, moments of weakness, running, work, highs, lows, through it all I just want to remember that we are where we are today because God has lead us to this path. If he brings us to it, He will get us through it. If you push yourself, you can do anything. I am proof of that! I'm so glad my fear was completely shattered on May 2 at the Indy Mini.

About to cross the finish line!

I have to give a shout out to the people I know who participated and did so good! Tyler B., Brittany D., Jelayne T.,  Jennifer C., Jasen C., Brent C., Kim M, and Chris M.  Some rocked the 5k and others the Mini!  I am so proud of each and every one of them.  Thankful for Heather who showed up at 630 to support all of us. Having her there was such a blessing! She is one of my biggest fans and support system. She believes in me pushes me to be a better person everyday! Having Cory there supporting all of us was so much fun too! I can't wait for him to start running with us "nerds." :) I just love how everyone was supporting each other and so happy for one another!

My family and friends support completely overwhelmed me. The texts and messages were so sweet and comforting. Knowing that people had faith in me helped so much.  There is nothing like knowing your people are there for you. I look forward to training for more races (and doing this one every year as a fun tradition!) and encouraging others a long the way!  So thankful for the ability to run as it has been such a healing process for me! I can officially say I completed a half marathon, which still amazes me! To God be the Glory! {Philippians 4:13}

That moment you see your loves after you finished the race!

My guy believed in me when I didn't!!! He's my #1 fan!

  

See, I told you guys I had a lot to say about my first Mini :)  It was one of the coolest things I've ever done and a day I will never forget! Feel free to leave any comments!

Until next time,

A running Momma who ran a Mini! :D 

Running History 101

For those of you who are unaware, I have been running for 11 months now. I never ever considered myself a runner. Let me start with some background information.  In high school, when I was forced to run on the track during gym, I detested every second of it. My gym teacher told me that I needed to sign up for track. I said no thank you. My fastest mile was 5:21. Everyone said it was a big deal, I said it wasn't. I only ran fast to get it over with. In the back of my head I was always scared that if I joined the track, I would fail and be made fun of ultimately. I wanted to be "cool" so didn't want that kind of disappointment to deal with. After that gym class ended I was so glad I wouldn't be forced to run anymore. I would go to the YMCA to run on the track or run outdoors, but nothing spectacular. Just for exercise. That lasted for only a short time as I would get bored with it. I always wanted someone to run with, but none of my friends were in to running. I quit running all together and started gaining weight slowly.

I met Tyler in 2004. We got engaged 6 months after we met and were married a year and a half later. To get in shape for our wedding day we started jogging a little bit together. I loved it because I had him to run with! That was so fun to me. We continued and got in to shape for our big day. The running ended after that! We wanted to, but were content and lazy just staying in and gaining weight again. When we moved to Martinsville (aka Martintucky) I would see Brent C. running down the streets. I knew that he ran miles and miles. He was a huge inspiration to me. That definitely sparked a small thought in my head that I wanted to run again. Little did I know what was heading my way a couple months after that.

2014 was a turning point in the road for me. I was trying to battle depression on my own (I do not recommend) from the passing of my beautiful Mom in November 2013. My friend Jelayne encouraged me that running would help me with some of those feelings. I had been at the gym for a couple of months doing some cardio workouts, but doing very small runs sporadically. Instead of hitting the road to get in some long runs I ran to the doctors for help. Immediately I was prescribed anti-depressants (which was best for that moment & a huge shout out to my sister for flying in and helping me during that time.) I decided it would be good to start taking running seriously and listen to Jelayne's advice since I had signed up for a 5k (Chocoholic Frolic).  I became discouraged because when I ran I would not feel well at all.  I had some side effects that were not good. I called my doctor after a week of that and she said to taper down the dosage. I did and the same side effects were continuing. I made a decision to wean myself off of the medication and lean strictly on my running to help me feel better. A month later I was feeling so much better.  I continued running for fun and to live a healthier lifestyle.  I would feel like a new person after each and every run.  I then decided to run not only because I enjoyed it and was becoming more healthy, but I wanted to inspire others to do the same.

A quote from my first 5k blog: "I learned that when you decide to do something you can motivate yourself and do it. No excuses. You will get sick, or get an injury and have to take a break, but the important piece of the puzzle is to not give up.  Pick yourself up and keep going. I look forward to more races in the future :) I hope to inspire someone to do something out of their comfort zone like I did. It is very rewarding!"

So, there you have it. I ultimately wrote this blog for me to remember how and why I started out on my running journey. God has had a plan for me and it's awesome to see how far I've come. I look forward to where my journey is going to take me. I look forward to seeing other peoples lives changed from making that decision to step of our their comfort zone and to never give up on something. Please don't ever judge someone about their journey. You never know how they got there or why they do what they do. God has a plan for everyone. His plans are ALWAYS better than what we think is best for ourselves or for anyone.  I hope you all enjoyed my post. Next up: all about my first half marathon! Yipeeee!!! 

{Philippians 4:13}

Until next time, 

A running momma! 

Mom-the most beautiful and peaceful passing

 

On the road
Mom had a horrible horrible night last night. She was up until 430a vomiting. Her anti-nausea medications unfortunately were not helping her at all. Poor mom :( It's so difficult seeing her in this condition. The only thing that gets me through it besides God, is her positive attitude. She still manages to talk positive and smile through it all.
This morning Oche finished packing up the last minute things, cleaned out the fridge, etc. Mom had several visitors stop by. Everyone is so very sad she is leaving. They all prayed for mom that God would keep his hand upon her and keep us safe. She is blessed to have these precious friends. They were crying and so upset to see her leave, but they know this is best for mom.

(I started yesterday's post while on the road and never got to finish it...now I will post about today.)
We arrived in Vancouver at 230am. Mom was able to rest well in the car and we didn't end up having to stop anywhere. Oche had asked if we should stop and spend the night somewhere, but we felt like we needed to keep going if at all possible and just get there. During the car ride mom was "talking" the whole time. She would say things like "I'm going to take my last breath soon." We would tell her no she wasn't and that she would be fine. Let me back up to a couple of nights ago. Mom had told us that she had this "fuzzy feeling," and that she only had a couple of days left here on earth. Also that night, while Oche and I were picking up the house we heard mom talking to someone, so we went in to check on her. She was having a conversation with my mamaw. Mom had her arms stretched in the air and saying things like "aw mamaw." That was a beautiful thing to see. We asked mom the next morning if she remembered that and she sure enough did. She was so happy about it too. She said they couldn't touch, but that they were able to "chit-chat."
So, back to the story. We made it to Vancouver and mom's hospital bed was already set up and ready to go so we put her in bed. She was happy to be out of the car and in bed I think! She was very relaxed. We all slept in the same room together, Oche, Grandma, Mom and I. Little did we know this would be the last slumber party we would all have together. Mom woke up around 830 or so and asked for a drink of water so I gave her a sip. She was kindof confused and thought she was in a nursing home, but I explained to her where we were and she went back to sleep. Around 930a I got up around our usual wake up time and noticed mom was still asleep. I turned down her pain medicine just a tad to see if that would maybe wake her up and it didn't....
Around 11:30a she was still sleeping. I knew something wasn't quite right. I had fully expected her to be awake and wanting to get up in the wheelchair and hang out with everyone. All of the family came in to visit with her. You could tell she was so happy to see everyone, even though she wasn't able to voice that very well. She saw Rachel, Grandma, Emmy, Nap, CJ, Jayden, Abe, Kirsten, AJ, and Julia. After a couple of hours of visiting with everyone, her breathing became labored and her body started to involuntarily twitch. We knew that the time was getting close, but we didn't know it would happen so fast. She began to get the "rattle" and within 10 minutes or less of that she left this world and went on to be with her Heavenly Father.
That 10 minutes or less will forever be one of the most precious moment's of my life. I will never ever forget. We were all joined together praying for mom and singing hymns, which mom was singing along too. We could tell she was very much enjoying that. Oche was telling her we would all be fine and that it was okay to leave us now. The last few breaths she took were absolutely amazing. She got this look on her face like she was surprised to see someone, someone was there waiting for her and then she shed one tiny tear and had the most peaceful smile on her face. I can't even accurately describe how beautiful this was. There are no words.  Mom had such a peace over here during those last couple of breaths. You just knew that she had no more pain and was not suffering any more. She took her last breath at 3:21pm on November 10th.
This has been the hardest day of my life. I have such mixed emotions. We miss mom so terribly, but know that she is in a much better place with no more pain or suffering. It's so sad that she isn't here with us any longer, but happy to know she is with our Heavenly Father. It's hard to not think that in the morning she will not be there with a smile on her face saying "good morning shayna." It's not going to be easy to not pick up the phone and want to talk to her and hear her sweet voice. She always answered the phone, "Hi Shayna, it's so good to hear your voice!" I'm sad because she is loved by so many who are missing her terribly. Through all the sadness I can't express how thankful that I know she is now in peace. I'm thankful for God's comfort. Without Him, I don't know what I would do. Thankful for friends who uplift and encourage. Thankful for the simple gestures like receiving a text saying "I have no other words of my own, but some from The Lord-Psalm 116:15." Which states, "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." That verse meant so much to me. So powerful. So True. So awesome is our God. Mom is precious and even more precious in her death to our Almighty God. He is good. All the time. No matter what.
Thank you everyone for your prayers, support, love, generosity. I mean that from the bottom of my broken heart right now. Thank you for all of the calls, texts, facebook messages, posts and thoughts. It means so much. God is faithful and I cling to Him more now than ever. Thankful for the peace and comfort that can only come from knowing Him. Thank you for sharing in this beautiful journey with my mom. She will live on..her legacy of loving The Lord with all her heart will not fade, we will keep her radiant light shining. Always.
I love you so, so much mom. You are so beautiful inside and out, but I didn't know you would be even more beautiful in your death. We can not wait to see you in Heaven again some day.  You are loved more than you will ever know by your children, grandchildren, family, and friends. Thank you for your unending love and always encouraging  us. You will be missed greatly.
(originally wrote November 10 2013)