Dear Mom, Nov. 22, 13
I just realized that this will be my last letter to you. We have wrote many to each other throughout the years. It made my day whenever I would see that I received a letter in the mail from you. Your physical body is no longer with us here on earth, but you are talked about every single day. There isn't an hour that goes by where I don't think about you or see something that reminds me of you. I know you are still with me, there is no doubt about that. The morning after you peacefully passed away, CJ and I went on a walk as soon we woke up. On our way back to the house, something in the middle of the road caught my eye. I waited for cars to pass and then I walked towards it. What I saw was the biggest leaf I've ever seen. I walked back over to CJ and he couldn't believe it. We looked around for the tree of which this leaf came from and there was no tree around that had this kind of leaf. CJ and I knew that it was from you. You always loved to go on walks with us and your grandchildren while looking at all the beautiful flowers, trees, and birds around. That was one of your favorite things to do. Last year, when you stayed with Ty, the girls and I for a few days, we went on a walk to the park. There was a big hill that lead up to more park areas and a walking trail. You saw that hill and wanted to walk up it. I thought you were crazy, but you talked me into it! I will never forget that walk. Even though I knew you were in pain, you never complained once and smiled the whole way there and back. You truly lived each day to its fullest.
I loved how every time the girls and I would be on a walk, you would just happen to call during that exact same time, even with the three hour time difference. I loved how hands on you were with the girls and the rest of your grandchildren. I loved how positive you always were and uplifting to me and everyone else you came in contact with. You were the first person I would call for advice, and your advice would always be the right thing to do. You were always praying for me and my family. Not just praying, but on your knee's praying. I loved how you would ask me if I loved Tyler more than the day before, and yes Mom, I do. Thank you for praying for my husband years before I would even meet him. We both know that God sent me Tyler and it was the answer to your prayers all those years. You love him so much. You did the same thing with Oche and He answered your prayer and sent along, Nap, whom you love very much as well. Thank you for always loving me no matter what. You saw the good, the bad, and the ugly. With your life I know you would say you didn't always live in a way that was pleasing to God, but you were so thankful he never stopped loving you through it all and was faithful to forgive you. You most definitely showed us and others what it was like to be a true Christian. You never failed to tell us and every one else that, "Jesus loves you," with a smile on your face. I always thought it was embarrassing, but when I would see the reaction and smile on those people's faces, I knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about. That is our mission here on earth to share the good news of Jesus Christ, and yes He loves us all so much and wants nothing more than for us to accept him and have a personal relationship with Him. I can hear God saying to you, "Well done my good and faithful servant." When you smiled and took your last breath, you were the most beautiful angel I'd ever seen. I never knew one's death could make them look so radiantly beautiful. Your beauty is forever embedded in my brain and I know that's how you are going to look when I see you again.
It was 8 years ago that you dedicated your life back to Christ and I know that's the best thing you ever did. God gave you so much love, peace joy, happiness, and laughter in your life. I found a letter that I wrote to you after you shared that information with me. I was so excited and thanked you because I knew we would be able to pick back up and move forward with our relationship. These 8 years have been absolutely wonderful and I'm so thankful we were able to share them together. God knows our lives from the beginning to the end and he planned everything according to His plan and purpose in your life. Not what we may have wanted, but the way He wanted it. Everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes we do not understand. There is nothing like trusting in Him. He is the only one who can give us such perfect peace and comfort.
There are no words to express how thankful I am for all the beautiful memories I have of you. I would be typing for days if not months if I could mention them all. I will cherish each and every one, and continue sharing them with my family and others. You are no longer here on earth with us, but you live on in our hearts and precious memories. I miss your beautiful face, smile, and voice. You were an amazing daughter, sister, mother and an even more amazing grandmother. I love you so much more than you'll ever know and I miss you even more. I am looking forward to the day I get to see you again in Heaven. XOXO
Love, Shayna
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