My heart is so warmed by people who have a desire to help others out. Especially those who are going through difficult times in their lives as well. That shows what a true Christian is like. Helping out to comfort those who are in need no matter what. That is exactly what Jesus did when he walked the Earth. Even as He was walking to be crucified, he was telling people that it was okay and all would be well. Wow. My heart hurts from missing mom so terribly, but is warmed and comforted by people who are wanting to do something to help us during this difficult time.
One of Mom's favorite songs and the one that my mother-in-law sang after her memorial service was called "Love lifted me." The love of God is what is truly getting me through this, as well as the love of others. Part of the chorus says "when nothing else could help, love lifted me" and that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. God's love and the love being shown by others is what is lifting me and comforting me. You really know how much people care when someone is going through the most difficult time of their life.
I have so much peace right now in my soul even though I miss Mom more than I can even take at times. As I sit here looking out the window and watch the most beautiful unusual glistening snow flakes fall I am reminded of three things: how beautiful life is and to never take it for granted, how beautiful and peaceful one's death can be and how even more beautiful and precious my Mom's passing is to our Heavenly Father, and most comforting that Mom is still here with me and watching over us :) Oh, how He loves us!!!!!
Thank you Jesus, to God be the glory forever and ever.
~Shayna
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 23, 2013
Wishes do come true
As most of you know from previous posts, Mom's last wish was to be buried back home at the Bellsville Cemetery in Indiana next to her Grandma and Grandpa. She never thought this would be possible because she resided in Sacramento, California. When I got the phone call on October 28th that she was in the hospital and I needed to come ASAP I also was told that she had agreed to cremation because of living and cost situation. (I knew from our previous talks that she wanted nothing more than to be buried back home in Indiana). I could not allow this to happen. This was one wish that had to be granted. Tyler and I talked and decided that we were going to create an account with GiveForward for her and hope and pray for the best. When I arrived at the hospital the conversation was brought up right away. I told Mom that I wouldn't allow that to happen and that we would get her back to Indiana and her wish would come true. She looked at me in amazement with big eyes and said "really? how?" I told her about the account and she repeated over and over "really Shayna? really Oche?" She was so happy! Each time there was a new donation we would tell her right away and she lit up the room with excitement! She would ask if this was really happening. It was incredible to see such joy on her face. She was so thankful for everyone that was donating. When we had enough funds from GiveForward and from family and friends to ensure that we could get her back to Indiana she cried and cried. She couldn't believe it was happening. Without you all and your love, support, generosity, and prayers this would not have been possible. We would not have been able to fly her home and have a beautiful viewing and memorial service for her. Her wish came true today.
My heart was seriously warmed by friends and family I was surrounded with and by others who I knew were thinking about Mom and wishing they could be with us while she was being laid to rest. I have two words to sum up how her memorial service was: beautiful and peaceful. Just like her passing. Everything was perfect, just the way she would have wanted it to be. It was a very difficult day to have to say our final goodbye's here on earth, but it helped being surrounded by our loved ones and knowing that many many others were thinking and praying for us on this day. The view of the cemetery was breathtaking. Even though it was a cold day, the clouds were beautiful, and the sun was shining. Oche opened the service by reading a letter that she wrote to Mom. Pastor Douglas did a magnificent job talking about her and describing her favorite scriptures. I have to mention that during this time a sound caught my attention. I listened intently and it was the soft cooing of a dove. I nudged Oche and Tyler and told them to listen. They acknowledged that they heard it as well. As soon as Pastor Douglas finished his remarks the dove stopped and never made another sound. This was incredible. I know that happened for a very special reason. Mom was showing us that she was there with us. Doves symbolize peace and that's exactly what we were experiencing the whole time. What a miraculous moment! Uncle Tom talked about precious memories and read a letter that I wrote her. Bro. Douglas closed with the committal and a peaceful prayer. So thankful we have the promise that we will get to see her again someday. We were getting ready to leave the cemetery, but Oche and I decided we wanted to stay to watch Mom be lowered to the ground. It was such a inspirational moment to know that this is where she wanted to be when her time here on earth was finished.
After the service we gathered at Family Life and Worship Center for a reception. A huge thank you to everyone who made that possible. Great food and fellowship. The tables were decorated cute and the food was delicious. What a blessing! It was such a wonderful and special time being with our loved ones and celebrating such a radiant life. I loved how everyone mentioned that mom was so special to them and was remembered by always having a smile on her face and being so positive. Mom had asked if my mother in law would sing and Oche as well. Tyler and my father in law played the guitar while Carol Ann sang Love Lifted Me and Oche sang Consider the Lilies. Those were mom's favorite songs. During these songs my heart was so touched and happy. These were two of the songs we sang to mom in her final days as well as during her final minutes. I can picture the biggest smile on her face and enjoying hearing Oche and Carol Ann sing so beautifully. I will cherish those moments forever!
I'm thankful we have such peace and comfort from our Heavenly Father. He loves us all so much and doesn't want us to be heartbroken because he called one of his precious saints home. I will never forget the peace I felt after a friend sent me this scripture to read after her passing. Psalms 116:15~ "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." This whole journey that Mom went through was all planned out according to His will for her life. Only he knew when her time here on earth would be over. This is not the end, it is just the beginning for my Mother. To God be all of the glory for everything He has done. He is good. All the time. No matter what!
Attached is the program that Tyler Bonney made for Mom. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much my love!
Don't ever forget that Jesus loves you! And don't be afraid to tell others. You may never know what difference it will make in someone's life. :)
My heart was seriously warmed by friends and family I was surrounded with and by others who I knew were thinking about Mom and wishing they could be with us while she was being laid to rest. I have two words to sum up how her memorial service was: beautiful and peaceful. Just like her passing. Everything was perfect, just the way she would have wanted it to be. It was a very difficult day to have to say our final goodbye's here on earth, but it helped being surrounded by our loved ones and knowing that many many others were thinking and praying for us on this day. The view of the cemetery was breathtaking. Even though it was a cold day, the clouds were beautiful, and the sun was shining. Oche opened the service by reading a letter that she wrote to Mom. Pastor Douglas did a magnificent job talking about her and describing her favorite scriptures. I have to mention that during this time a sound caught my attention. I listened intently and it was the soft cooing of a dove. I nudged Oche and Tyler and told them to listen. They acknowledged that they heard it as well. As soon as Pastor Douglas finished his remarks the dove stopped and never made another sound. This was incredible. I know that happened for a very special reason. Mom was showing us that she was there with us. Doves symbolize peace and that's exactly what we were experiencing the whole time. What a miraculous moment! Uncle Tom talked about precious memories and read a letter that I wrote her. Bro. Douglas closed with the committal and a peaceful prayer. So thankful we have the promise that we will get to see her again someday. We were getting ready to leave the cemetery, but Oche and I decided we wanted to stay to watch Mom be lowered to the ground. It was such a inspirational moment to know that this is where she wanted to be when her time here on earth was finished.
After the service we gathered at Family Life and Worship Center for a reception. A huge thank you to everyone who made that possible. Great food and fellowship. The tables were decorated cute and the food was delicious. What a blessing! It was such a wonderful and special time being with our loved ones and celebrating such a radiant life. I loved how everyone mentioned that mom was so special to them and was remembered by always having a smile on her face and being so positive. Mom had asked if my mother in law would sing and Oche as well. Tyler and my father in law played the guitar while Carol Ann sang Love Lifted Me and Oche sang Consider the Lilies. Those were mom's favorite songs. During these songs my heart was so touched and happy. These were two of the songs we sang to mom in her final days as well as during her final minutes. I can picture the biggest smile on her face and enjoying hearing Oche and Carol Ann sing so beautifully. I will cherish those moments forever!
I'm thankful we have such peace and comfort from our Heavenly Father. He loves us all so much and doesn't want us to be heartbroken because he called one of his precious saints home. I will never forget the peace I felt after a friend sent me this scripture to read after her passing. Psalms 116:15~ "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." This whole journey that Mom went through was all planned out according to His will for her life. Only he knew when her time here on earth would be over. This is not the end, it is just the beginning for my Mother. To God be all of the glory for everything He has done. He is good. All the time. No matter what!
Attached is the program that Tyler Bonney made for Mom. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much my love!
Don't ever forget that Jesus loves you! And don't be afraid to tell others. You may never know what difference it will make in someone's life. :)
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, Nov. 22, 13
I just realized that this will be my last letter to you. We have wrote many to each other throughout the years. It made my day whenever I would see that I received a letter in the mail from you. Your physical body is no longer with us here on earth, but you are talked about every single day. There isn't an hour that goes by where I don't think about you or see something that reminds me of you. I know you are still with me, there is no doubt about that. The morning after you peacefully passed away, CJ and I went on a walk as soon we woke up. On our way back to the house, something in the middle of the road caught my eye. I waited for cars to pass and then I walked towards it. What I saw was the biggest leaf I've ever seen. I walked back over to CJ and he couldn't believe it. We looked around for the tree of which this leaf came from and there was no tree around that had this kind of leaf. CJ and I knew that it was from you. You always loved to go on walks with us and your grandchildren while looking at all the beautiful flowers, trees, and birds around. That was one of your favorite things to do. Last year, when you stayed with Ty, the girls and I for a few days, we went on a walk to the park. There was a big hill that lead up to more park areas and a walking trail. You saw that hill and wanted to walk up it. I thought you were crazy, but you talked me into it! I will never forget that walk. Even though I knew you were in pain, you never complained once and smiled the whole way there and back. You truly lived each day to its fullest.
I loved how every time the girls and I would be on a walk, you would just happen to call during that exact same time, even with the three hour time difference. I loved how hands on you were with the girls and the rest of your grandchildren. I loved how positive you always were and uplifting to me and everyone else you came in contact with. You were the first person I would call for advice, and your advice would always be the right thing to do. You were always praying for me and my family. Not just praying, but on your knee's praying. I loved how you would ask me if I loved Tyler more than the day before, and yes Mom, I do. Thank you for praying for my husband years before I would even meet him. We both know that God sent me Tyler and it was the answer to your prayers all those years. You love him so much. You did the same thing with Oche and He answered your prayer and sent along, Nap, whom you love very much as well. Thank you for always loving me no matter what. You saw the good, the bad, and the ugly. With your life I know you would say you didn't always live in a way that was pleasing to God, but you were so thankful he never stopped loving you through it all and was faithful to forgive you. You most definitely showed us and others what it was like to be a true Christian. You never failed to tell us and every one else that, "Jesus loves you," with a smile on your face. I always thought it was embarrassing, but when I would see the reaction and smile on those people's faces, I knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about. That is our mission here on earth to share the good news of Jesus Christ, and yes He loves us all so much and wants nothing more than for us to accept him and have a personal relationship with Him. I can hear God saying to you, "Well done my good and faithful servant." When you smiled and took your last breath, you were the most beautiful angel I'd ever seen. I never knew one's death could make them look so radiantly beautiful. Your beauty is forever embedded in my brain and I know that's how you are going to look when I see you again.
It was 8 years ago that you dedicated your life back to Christ and I know that's the best thing you ever did. God gave you so much love, peace joy, happiness, and laughter in your life. I found a letter that I wrote to you after you shared that information with me. I was so excited and thanked you because I knew we would be able to pick back up and move forward with our relationship. These 8 years have been absolutely wonderful and I'm so thankful we were able to share them together. God knows our lives from the beginning to the end and he planned everything according to His plan and purpose in your life. Not what we may have wanted, but the way He wanted it. Everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes we do not understand. There is nothing like trusting in Him. He is the only one who can give us such perfect peace and comfort.
There are no words to express how thankful I am for all the beautiful memories I have of you. I would be typing for days if not months if I could mention them all. I will cherish each and every one, and continue sharing them with my family and others. You are no longer here on earth with us, but you live on in our hearts and precious memories. I miss your beautiful face, smile, and voice. You were an amazing daughter, sister, mother and an even more amazing grandmother. I love you so much more than you'll ever know and I miss you even more. I am looking forward to the day I get to see you again in Heaven. XOXO
Love, Shayna
I just realized that this will be my last letter to you. We have wrote many to each other throughout the years. It made my day whenever I would see that I received a letter in the mail from you. Your physical body is no longer with us here on earth, but you are talked about every single day. There isn't an hour that goes by where I don't think about you or see something that reminds me of you. I know you are still with me, there is no doubt about that. The morning after you peacefully passed away, CJ and I went on a walk as soon we woke up. On our way back to the house, something in the middle of the road caught my eye. I waited for cars to pass and then I walked towards it. What I saw was the biggest leaf I've ever seen. I walked back over to CJ and he couldn't believe it. We looked around for the tree of which this leaf came from and there was no tree around that had this kind of leaf. CJ and I knew that it was from you. You always loved to go on walks with us and your grandchildren while looking at all the beautiful flowers, trees, and birds around. That was one of your favorite things to do. Last year, when you stayed with Ty, the girls and I for a few days, we went on a walk to the park. There was a big hill that lead up to more park areas and a walking trail. You saw that hill and wanted to walk up it. I thought you were crazy, but you talked me into it! I will never forget that walk. Even though I knew you were in pain, you never complained once and smiled the whole way there and back. You truly lived each day to its fullest.
I loved how every time the girls and I would be on a walk, you would just happen to call during that exact same time, even with the three hour time difference. I loved how hands on you were with the girls and the rest of your grandchildren. I loved how positive you always were and uplifting to me and everyone else you came in contact with. You were the first person I would call for advice, and your advice would always be the right thing to do. You were always praying for me and my family. Not just praying, but on your knee's praying. I loved how you would ask me if I loved Tyler more than the day before, and yes Mom, I do. Thank you for praying for my husband years before I would even meet him. We both know that God sent me Tyler and it was the answer to your prayers all those years. You love him so much. You did the same thing with Oche and He answered your prayer and sent along, Nap, whom you love very much as well. Thank you for always loving me no matter what. You saw the good, the bad, and the ugly. With your life I know you would say you didn't always live in a way that was pleasing to God, but you were so thankful he never stopped loving you through it all and was faithful to forgive you. You most definitely showed us and others what it was like to be a true Christian. You never failed to tell us and every one else that, "Jesus loves you," with a smile on your face. I always thought it was embarrassing, but when I would see the reaction and smile on those people's faces, I knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about. That is our mission here on earth to share the good news of Jesus Christ, and yes He loves us all so much and wants nothing more than for us to accept him and have a personal relationship with Him. I can hear God saying to you, "Well done my good and faithful servant." When you smiled and took your last breath, you were the most beautiful angel I'd ever seen. I never knew one's death could make them look so radiantly beautiful. Your beauty is forever embedded in my brain and I know that's how you are going to look when I see you again.
It was 8 years ago that you dedicated your life back to Christ and I know that's the best thing you ever did. God gave you so much love, peace joy, happiness, and laughter in your life. I found a letter that I wrote to you after you shared that information with me. I was so excited and thanked you because I knew we would be able to pick back up and move forward with our relationship. These 8 years have been absolutely wonderful and I'm so thankful we were able to share them together. God knows our lives from the beginning to the end and he planned everything according to His plan and purpose in your life. Not what we may have wanted, but the way He wanted it. Everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes we do not understand. There is nothing like trusting in Him. He is the only one who can give us such perfect peace and comfort.
There are no words to express how thankful I am for all the beautiful memories I have of you. I would be typing for days if not months if I could mention them all. I will cherish each and every one, and continue sharing them with my family and others. You are no longer here on earth with us, but you live on in our hearts and precious memories. I miss your beautiful face, smile, and voice. You were an amazing daughter, sister, mother and an even more amazing grandmother. I love you so much more than you'll ever know and I miss you even more. I am looking forward to the day I get to see you again in Heaven. XOXO
Love, Shayna
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