Luke: a gangster of LOVE

Fly high Lukey Duke

 I can't believe my brother is gone. I can't believe I got that gut wrenching phone call that no one ever wants to get. I can't believe how many unanswered questions there are. I can't believe I will never see him again. I can't believe I don't have to worry about him everyday. I can't believe how much I miss him. I can't believe how this all happened. There are so many thing I can't believe. I can't believe he never got the real help he needed. I can't believe the system let him down. I can't believe the system allowed this to happen to him. I can't believe he didn't stay on track. I can't believe we were able to have one last Christmas together. I can't believe what a beautiful soul he had. I can't believe how he touched so many lives. I can't believe all the hurt and pain he went through. I can't believe he never had it easy. I can't believe in his death he was able to give others a second chance. I can't believe he didn't have any children. I can't believe how many people truly loved him and cared for him. I can't believe how many people saw that special light within him. I can't believe how much this hurts. 

Why? Why did this have to happen? I used to lie awake trying to put all the pieces together, but nothing made sense. I decided to put my mind at ease and realize that God will give me the answers that I need. Maybe not the ones I want, but definitely the ones I need. I love you, Luke. I always worried about you my whole life. Now I don't have to worry about where you are and what you're doing. But I question why all of this had to happen. I have always said everything happens for a reason. I do believe that. I know there's a reason and purpose. You knew we would give your organs to save other lives, you knew we would fight for justice for you, because you would never be allowed the chance.  We will never ever give up. Changes will be made. We pray for our enemies for they shall not be formed against us.  We trust in Gods plan for all of us. We trust in the plan He had for your life. Life here on earth is so incredibly short.  Let us live life to the fullest every single day and remember your kind and tender smile and try to always, always live life to the happiest as you did. 

I love you brother. I love you more than you could possibly ever know. I always looked up to you. You sometimes would put me in terrible situations, but you always protected me at the same time. You would never let any harm come to me. You were an angel here on earth and now you are an angel with mom flying high watching and protecting your people. Your body is gone, but you are never forgotten. It helps to know your organs are in other people allowing them a second chance at life. I miss you sweet sweet brother. I miss our conversations about life. I miss how you always talked about God and were so full of his love. I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing your contagious smile. I miss your big bear hug. I miss your kiss on my cheek. I miss your laugh. I miss us messing around being stupid and laughing together. I miss seeing how much you would eat and enjoy every bite. I miss drinking coffee with you. I miss seeing you help others out in need. I miss you being here and putting others first.   I won't miss the drugs that you never got away from. I pray that through all of this your friends and family will realize that these drugs aren't worth it.  I pray that through this others won't be manipulated like you were by the system. I can't pray I wish you were here, because I can't help but wonder what would have happened to the ones you love. You lost your life, so that others could lives theirs. You were such a gangster of love! You are a true HERO, you forever have a heart of GOLD!

He was trying to get me into shape!

CHRISTMAS 2015! Last Christmas together

Lukes handmade jewelry.

Luke's Sunshine

I wrote this a couple of weeks after Luke passed away. I typed what was on my mind. It may not make sense, but it was what I needed at the time to get out. Luke is incredibly missed every single day by so many people. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about him. To this day, at times, it still seems like such a bad dream. I feel like I will wake up and he will be here with us again. However, reality sits in and boom, he's gone. Gone but never forgotten. He is with us. He lives on I know that 100%. Thankful we know that all of his donor recipients are doing great with their transplants. That is a miracle! I know Luke is flying high and watching down over us. Life is short. So, so short. We need to enjoy every day to the fullest and live like there's no tomorrow. Take risks, go on adventures, show Gods love.  Laugh more, hug longer, give sweet kisses, and show lots and lots of love. Thank you God for the sweet gift of Luke you gave us all, and to others who we may never meet.  He is forever cherished. 

GIFT OF LIFE DONOR! BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WHO GAINED HIS WINGS. ~MARCH 27, 2016~

Until next time, 

A sister who misses her brother immenseley.